Keanu's Confession

Hi, my name is Keanu Reeves. Although many of you know me, before now it has not been common knowledge that I am in love... with Terra. That's right. Madly insanely in love with Terra. Although she has been playing hard to get, I intend to marry that girl, as soon as I get her drunk in Reno.



Funny story. Many of you think that I am gay. Ha Ha. Laugh it up.



Because I don't think it's funny. And you don't want to see me... thinking.



I love her so much that I dressed up in these leather pants and posed next to a motorcycle just to get her all hot and bothered. Trust me when I say she is hot, and bothered.



Now get out.
I know a lot of you are in line for a little bit o'Terra. But get out. She has me now, and she doesn't want anything to do with you losers.



So Terra. Now that it's just me and you, I think it's time that you start showing some skin.



Umm. Excuse me, I hate to interrupt your whole, "I swear I'm not a fag" routine.

"... "

But I can't let you have Terra.
I'm not in love with her, but I do need to do her. Although there are other...somewhat... better looking girls out there. Let's face it. She's fucking hot in bed. I just don't think that something as tasty as that should be wasted on some candy ass fairy.

"... "

Hey you fag! Stop staring at my package!



Ha ha. I was not staring at your gorg... package George.
You see... I am simply not gay.
I am 100% bi- I mean straight. Definately straight.
However, I agree. Terra kicks ass in bed. Therefore I can't let you have her.



It's go time.