The Fuglerelees

Ok, so our upstairs neighbors are FUGLY. I'm talking the kind of fugly that when you see them, you just kind of throw up in your mouth a little. It's bad. Plus they're diabolically FAT!

What I mean by diabolically fat is that they don't really look fat at all. They actually look to be quite normal sized. Not real small, but not necessarily big. Until they go upstairs, and suddenly they are transformed into HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS! All we can hear upstairs is BOOM BOOM BOOM!!

I swear sometimes I think that they're going to come through the ceiling. On top of it they don't even start thundering around til 4 am! Fucking fugly hungry hippostupidneighborisis. Ugh. I hate them. So today we are on the freeway and I say to Tracie, "hey, the car ahead of us. Check it out, it's the Fuglerelees". She suggests ramming them, I, in good conscious veto that horrible decision. C'mon it's raining so we'd probably end up crashing too. If we're going to get into some good natured car bashing let's make sure the innocent don't get hurt.

This get's us onto a completely random topic. Tracie has this theory that when two ugly people have children their kids are beautiful. Contrarily when two beautiful people have children they turn out ugly. She points to the car ahead of us, "those kids are going to be fucking gorgeous."

I don't know about that. Those people are pretty darn ugly.

But this gets me to thinking. You know how people sometimes say about dogs, "He was so ugly he was cute!" Why don't we ever say that about people? None of my friends have ever come up to me and said, "Terra! I'm dating this great guy! He's so ugly he's cute!"

Why is that I wonder... out loud. So driving downtown me and Tracie start scanning the streets. Our new mission:

Find someone so ugly, they're cute.