I don't care who you are

That shit's funny.

I stole that line from my roommate. Who stole it from the blue collar comedy tour. Who they stole it from I don't know. Yawn. I'm tired, but somewhere underneath the lack of sleep induced coma like stupor, I think I might be irritated.

First things first. I work for a bank. If you have never met anyone who works at a bank, well then you might just have a personality. Which means you will never come into contact with this type of person. Although you don't know it, you have been given some kind of blessing. I have not. I am cursed. This is probably karma coming back to me for some previous life where I set fires to churches and tipped cows. I really should've left those cows alone.

So now I work for a bank. I get paid decent amounts of money to sit here in my cubicle and pretend I care about addressing letters and answering two calls a day. That's right, a day. And only two calls if I'm lucky. Normally it's none. My boss, is a nice guy. Very nice. He wears khakis and plaid shirts and drives an audi. He is very very nice. Obviously we get along, barely.

Here's the thing. He makes jokes. Which are never funny. As his assistant I am required to laugh. Which I do. That's what they pay me for. Address envelopes, laugh at stupid jokes, bark like a dog. Give me my paycheck and I'll ask you if you would like for me to sound like a labrador today or a poodle. I like poodles... they bite.

Sometimes his jokes are actually funny though! So today we go out for our holiday lunch to E & O Trading Co. and at the table he says how he's going to start carrying a pistol in his car for stupid drivers. It's funny but it also kinda pisses me off.

You see he's the only one allowed to make jokes. I've worked for him for over a year and every time I make even the slightest wise crack he looks at me as if I just said something wildly innappropriate. Usually it takes me about six months to work up the nerve to make another joke. In all the time I have worked for him I have made probably less than six jokes total.

I want to get a joke book and throw it at his head screaming, "Fine! If I have to listen to you at least be FUNNY!"

Damn yuppies.