I'm A Rambling Man (Gal)

Today's Alcoholic Survival Tip


Next time you are too drunk to drive,
Walk to the nearest pizza shop

Place an order, When they go to
deliver it to your house, catch a ride
home with them.

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Things I forgot to tell Roy Hobbs:

One night RH made the cryptic comment to me, “You’d be surprised who reads these blogs… you have to be careful.”

Me, in all my drunkenness, then replied, “Oh yeah let me tell you this story…” Then I didn’t. I think I smoked a cigarette instead and concentrated on standing still. So here it is,

One day I posted a commentary on the idiocy that is all things Bush (the president and not the sexual choice thank you very much). Shortly after I checked my statcounter for a list of all my recent hits. I was a little freaked out when I saw an IP address from the pentagon. That’s right… the mother fucking pentagon! I was like, “CRAP”. However I figured I was safe cuz, well number one we don’t live in Russia, and number two, it’s not like I went around outlining any assassination plans. I mean, I figure I don’t like the guy but hey I can just wait around four years until he’s gone. I DO have something called patience.

Plus I kind of learned my lesson after yelling “BOMB” on a plane once. Sometimes things that I think are funny, apparently are not.

So word to the wise… big brother is watching. Word.

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Last night I watched the movie, “Girl With A Pearl Earring”, and it sucked. I fucking hated it. I kept waiting for a goddamn car chase or some random pointless violence, but other than a kid getting whipped (which was off camera so I didn’t even get to see her cry) there was none. NONE. But really, what I absolutely hated about this movie, was the lack of closure. I hate all stories like that. So guys, if your stupid girlie partner ever says, “Hey let’s watch that movie about some stupid girl with an earring” just say no. It’s too late for me… save yourself!

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I’m tired. I graduated on Saturday and thanks to many emergencies and errands I woke up Friday morning at around 7 am and went to sleep Sunday morning at 12:30 am. Why did I do this? Because drugs are good… I mean BAD. Drugs are bad. I think. Anyway, I didn’t need drugs, I was graduating at long last, I was psyched, I was beaming, I was beyond ecstatic. I was proud. Sunday morning I got a call, pictures and a recap have been requested and so I promise, soon that will be done.

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Why is carbonated water so carbonated? It took me over an hour to open my water bottle today, and yesterday I was covered with the stupid stuff. Carbonated Water how dare you mock me? If it wasn’t for your sweet goodness I would abandon thee. DAMN YOU!

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Shout out to all fellow bloggers. L I think you linked to me first, and for that I thank you much... I would link back but you live in Estonia and I can't read a word of your site. I know, I've tried. CL and Michelle were close on your heels, their sites were in English. With the help of a dictionary and some friendly translators I think I might actually get the gist of what they mean. Today Ian added me! Or maybe yesterday... I'm not sure. The point is you LIKE ME, YOU REALLY LIKE ME! Ha ha... people usually like me when they don't have to interact with me in person. So I guess I'm not too surprised.

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Random flashback:

One day feeling like the Super Hero that I am, I went outside to wield some of my mighty power. Holding a water can I stood above a daisy effectively blocking out all sun. "Mwah ha ha" went my maniacal laugh. "I am your GOD! Bow to me! I control the light and water. Without me you will surely die!" heh heh heh.

Then it started raining.

Drat.

(bonus points if you know what that's from)