50 First Dates

You know how in that movie when Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore first meet they start dancing at their cars? I was cracking up when they caught each other and Adam says, "There was a bee". But also I was kind of sad... when was the last time that I met a guy and I wanted to dance? It seems like there's always some sort of catch. He's cute but stupid, nice but has a girlfriend(and really not all that nice since he is currently hitting on me), smart but an asshole, or becomes terribly clingy after the very first date. I don't like guys who come on very strongly after the first date. It makes me feel unspecial. I could be anyone and they would be jocking me that hard.

Anyway, I met a guy. I want to dance and shout from the rafters. There are no red flags! None! I want to gush and babble because it has been years since I have done this or felt this. But of course this means that it won't work out. I will either fuck it up or he will just lose interest.

Yesterday I am on the phone with my friend Jon and I'm telling him about this guy. This by the way breaks a cardinal rule of mine: I only talk about guys after I've been seeing them for a month. He interrupts me to say, "Terra, you are looking for something wrong with this guy. But he actually sounds normal!" I agree, he is so far wonderfully unbelievably normal. I respond, "Well yeah, but you have to be realistic. Most people are not a good match with me." Jon agrees but he thinks I'm being a pessimist, not a realist. You say po-tay-to I say po-tah-to. Big diff.

Today though I am thinking about what he said and one of my favorite quotes, "Learn to practice the art of the open hand". I have to let go of my doubts to recieve anything new.

I danced by my car today.