Life Goes Blah?

Nothing funny has happened to me lately. It is really really wierd. In fact this past week has been definately unfunny, which is evidenced by some of my recent posts. Positively odd I tell ya.

Well. Since life and the cosmic maker seem to be on some sort of hiatus (did I spell that right?)I do believe I will recycle some previously untold yet genuinely funny stories. Today's special: Buttercup the psycho cat from hell.

She hides around corners then jumps onto your arm as you meander past.

She jumps from dark previously thought empty hallways to wrap herself around your head in a fit of black furred fury.

She climbs up underneath your dress and then scratches the hell out of your thighs. Why? Because you passed her food bowl without feeding her.

She chases dogs down the street for thinking they can walk through her yard.

She carries lizards into the house before you can stop her.

She gets you in trouble with your mom when you lock her in the closet.

No matter how many times you throw her in traffic she always comes back alive, while you get chased down by angry motorists.

You can actually hear her walking down the hallway, and your heartbeat increases in direct proportion to your fear.

You call animal control but your dad makes you call back and retract your statement while she gnaws on your ankle.

I hate that cat.