Oh Dear

(This is me the night of the Jill Scott Concert... Can you tell I'm Native American?)

Judging from some of the emails I have received and recent judgments I apparently must clarify certain key points.

* I am not, in fact, an alcoholic. In reality I am known usually as the designated driver and have many times spontaneously, and for no reason at all, given up alcohol.

* I am not a drunk driver and have never shown up drunk at a MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) meeting. Although in theory this sounds like a hysterical way to waste away a boring afternoon, I am sure MADD members would be, well, mad.

* I am not, nor have I ever been, Keanu Reeves lover. He is chasing me though.

* I do not believe that all men are losers. Just all the ones that I date. Let me justify that comment for a moment. If everyone was great then we would marry our very first boyfriend/girlfriend. Of course I am going to kiss a few frogs before a prince. It is just the nature of the game, otherwise I would have been married off at the young age of 18 and this blog would instead be about my Martha Stewart home and adorable rugrats, and you would not get to read about my hilarious escapades in the world of dating. In addition many of my best friends are guys and I don't know what I would do without them.

* I often use cynicism/sarcasm for humor.

* I often make horrible, judgmental, prejudiced, outlandish comments merely for shock/humor value. So fuck off.

* I do not use men merely for what is in their pants... although the thought has crossed my mind. Hey! Get your mind out of the gutter! I was talking about their wallets. In fact one of the reason I cut men so quickly is because I think that it is cruel to continue dating someone you have no real interest in. See. I'm nice.

* I can be intimidating. I am a young female who is goal driven, outspoken, usually funny, educated, self reliant, quite well read, very opinionated and annoyingly honest. I can't really help that now can I? But, if you look very closely you'll notice I have freckles on my cheekbones. That should make me slightly more approachable.

* I have occasionally kicked my cats... but they deserved it. I swear.