Mommy Dearest

Oh my gosh, I am the worst mommy EVER!

Not that I actually have children, because I don't. What I do have is two cats. One is a regular housecat, male, thirteen years old (human years), the other is a female purebred singapura, three years old (also human years). So the female, her name is Baby (because she is a minature cat and only ways in at 4.5 pounds) caught a cold. Or so I thought. She's wheezing and basically sounding like she has pneumonia. So I take her to the vet... after I give her some time to get over it. I know, I know, BAD.

So the vet looks her over and says she might be asthmatic and suggests x-rays, which may or may not diagnose the problem correctly and either way will run me 140 bucks. 140 BUCKS! No way. So I say, no lets just put her on the anti-biotics first. If she doesn't get better in a few days I'll bring her back for further testing. Then the vet says Baby has an infection in her mouth and will need teeth pulled, which is VERY unusual for a cat only three years old! Oh my gosh! She's been neglected! I felt like the worst person ever. I even started bringing up Tommy (my other cat) and trying to use his good health as an excuse! This is how guilty I am/feel.

On top of it I start wondering if Baby will need special care and if she's really worth all this extra fuss. In my head I start ticking off possible alternative homes for her. Which of course makes me feel like a total POS. Then to justify my bad thoughts I tell myself, well you've only had her thirteen years, so it's not like that you're that attached to her.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The thing is that I would probably do anything for Tommy. Is it because I've had him since I was 12? Do I like him better because of his seniority? Or is it that I like her less because she is a product of my ex and not a cat that I would've ever picked out for myself?

I pay the vet, make a follow up appointment for her teeth, and after everyone in the back comes out to tell me what a beautiful and sweet tempered cat she is, I head back to work. The whole drive there I am thinking that I need to learn to love her more.

The thing is that she is sweet. She is the most mild mannered, friendliest, lovable cats on the planet. I have never ever met a cat that was better than her.

Tommy on the other hand is evil. He's cranky, bad tempered, loud, and we actually have honest to goodness fights. The longest one lasted three days.

He has such a funny personality and I love him to death for it. Confession time: I love her less because she is so loveable. I love him more for his dynamic personality.

At home she flips out when I give her the medicine. Afterwards she burrows into my chest, seeking protection from the enemy. I pet her smooth ears and she looks up at me with big eyes. Trusting. I can't help but think: Tommy would've scratched my eyes out five minutes ago.